(S31) PT 3 - Investments

[Vulfzilla]

We've all heard the stories and watched the documentaries. Allen Iverson, Mike Tyson, OJ Simpson (okay.. that one was different but still...) These athletes made millions during their playing careers but went on to flush it all down the toilet thanks to bad investments, overspending, and greedy family and friends.

I don't plan on stepping in the same bear traps!  To avoid the same fate as these fools, I have created a 3 point plan. 

1) Get paid in Doge. Not only will I take my paychecks in the daily current value of dogecoin, but I plan to also become the face of the brand.  Well except for the dog because he's kindof the face of the brand. But I'll be the next face of the brand! Like how originally it was just Chris Paul in those state farm commercials, but now they have Aaron Rodgers and his dumb hair.  Basically my contract will become more and more valuable by the day as doge continues to skyrocket to the moon.  The great thing about getting paid in crypto, is there's no chance of the value falling and losing it all!

2) Invest in Cup Noodle- In the ultimate crossover promotion, I, Modern Nazgul, will invest heavily in Cup Noodle brand Cup Noodle.  I plan on dropping at least 15 million into promotions and marketing so that we can once and for all prove to the world through the wonder of advertisement that we are the premier portable ramen noodle.  In addition to my investment, I'll do commercials with my SHL counterpart who is a literal Cup Noodle on skates.  If you're old enough to remember the old Jordan vs. Bird McDonald's commercials, it'll look a lot like that with the two of us competing against each other in all sorts of events like football, hockey, and noodle speed eating competitions. No telling if that'll get weird for Cup Noodle himself. Tune in to find out!

3) Ride a horse- Rather than trying to buy only the fanciest cars, I plan on riding my spooky black horse to the practice facility every day.  This will save a ton of money and be a great investment for me as carrots are generally cheaper than gasoline.

WC: 373 words

[nunccoepi]

Blackstone has always been more fiscally conservative (honestly he's the most boring character in this whole league but that's because I'm not creative enough to make someone not like me but also maybe I just want a protégé. but I digress). So anyway, he doesn't really spend money that he doesn't need to spend. That being said, when he does need to spend money then he normally spends it pretty well. For example, when he had to buy a new car, he didn't really see the need to buy a budget car, instead he spoiled himself with a decked out Genesis. So anyway, all that to say basically that he has been saving a lot already and investing in various portfolios and stocks and bonds and CDs and whatever else his financial advisor does with his money. Honestly you can't tell me that most professional athletes really know what most of their money is doing anyway. I'm sure they just leave it up to the professionals and that's what Blackstone does as well. But after retirement he would love to find a couple of businesses to invest it, but it is his hope that he wouldn't have to rely on these to make money so this would be more like giving back to the community.

[zeagle1]

Money is always something that Chuck has worried about from the young age of three. At first it was having enough money to buy candy from the store, the it was enough money to get food with friends and buy cool clothes. Once he got to college it became having enough money to eat healthy and buy books. Now that chuck is a superstar football player, he has a new and unique money problem: he has too much of it. He was very fortunate to grow up in a household where finances were important, and it even named after an investment firm. Naturally, he decided to buy that investment firm as an investment for himself. When he realized that his paltry ISFL salary was not nearly enough money to buy an established household name investment firm, he resigned to simply storing his cash throughout his home, hidden in many different places. He watched that breaking bad movie once so his fridge lining is full of wads of 100s. He also hides a few stacks in the gloveboxes of all his cars, as well as more standard places like under his mattress and in his swimming pool sized fish tank. He just has to hope that nothing happens to this money before he retires.

Code:

213 words

[Sloths1]

Using 1 PT pass (2 left)

[StadiumGambler]

Saleem Spence performs some wise investments on the regular to keep his bank account healthy for retirement. Saleem has invested in a promising beef jerky company, alongside his personal friends Nick Brain of the Toronto North Stars in the Simulation Hockey League, and retired ex-SBA Shooting Guard Gerald Eddy. Various names for the company have been debated, such as "Herky Jerky" or "Circle Jerky", but further workshopping is required.

Saleem has also invested in a small medical facility known as the Winnipeg Quickstitch Clinic, run by his father Malcolm. His father is an expert at patching up bullet-ridden people, thanks to his experiences as a street doctor in Compton. Lacking consistent work in the Winnipeg medical field despite his skills, Saleem has boosted his father financially, as he hangs out his own shingle and attempts to do business.

Finally, Saleem has also put considerable money into the ISFLPA Pension Fund, putting a huge cut off the top of his Sarasota cheques into extra pension investements. The ISFLPA Pension invest in low-risk bonds, that yield a return of negative 69 percent each year. While not as risky or as exciting as GameStop, the hope is that the long term vision and stability will yield better results in the long run, as Spence eases towards the second half of his career and retirement.

[SchwarzNarr]

Over the past several seasons, Melvin has done quite a bit to make sure that he is able to maintain his fortune and wealth that he so deservedly earned. As an established football player, he also worked hard to become the general manager of his football team as well, the Colorado Yeti. He has decided that investing in the future of the team is the best way to gain more money. In fact, Melvin has worked toward establishing routes of creating merchandising opportunities for his players and his team and is using this as a way to make sure that every single one of his teammates can become self-sufficient when it comes time for them to retire. There is nothing worse than having worked away your youth, slamming your body into someone else until injury and old age sets in, and you have squandered all of your good money away. Therefore, Melvin, coupled with a team of financial experts, has worked to create the Colorado Finance Institution of Tomorrow. CFIT is great at engaging younger members of the team, helping them to invest their finances not just in the stock market, but also to diversify the way that they earn. It's no longer about just playing football, but finding your niche when it comes to having snacks, or antler cream or feather brushes. Every idea is welcome at CFIT and together we can make a brighter and richer Colorado.

[Rangerjase]

Zoltan is quite in the investor. He lives quite frugally as of course the majority of his income goes back to his family also known as the other cultists who worship and admire Lord Zoltan. The little that Zoltan has himself after rent (he doesn't need to eat as he lines his pockets with bubble wrap and sneaks enough food out of the team locker rooms) he has purchased a small plot of land in the canadian mountains with an excess of maple trees and a small garden gnome nicknamed "auntie" who has a knack for creating the perfect canadian maple syrup recipe. Zoltans plan is to tweak aunties formula to make it as similar to an energy pack that the bikers drink. The goal is to contract with the International Simulation Football League in order to get our special energy syrup into every offensive lineman in the league. Once we do that, we can expand to all other football leagues around world and will become wildly profitable. The more money that Zoltan can generate the more money that we can send home to lord zoltan. It would be nice for them to eat a steak once in a while. How else are we going to produce more football players.

[legion of slugs]

Will Stern has always been fiscally conscious and careful with his earnings. Just recently, he has started investing in cash into other assets, such as metals like silver and platinum. Stern knows he can’t take his career for granted, so he’s doing his best to make and earn money while he still has a decent sum stashed away from his contracts. Stern doesn’t believe in investing in stocks or cryptocurrency, it’s far too risky. He needs something tangible that he can see in case an emergency happens. Other than investing and saving some money, Stern is also planning on buying a nice house on the water near Seattle where he grew up close to. The value of it should go up in the future, however, that’s not the reason he wants to buy it. He’d want to buy it because he likes the environment and the city. There’s also a lot of things he’d be able to do on the water. Lastly, Stern is saving up money for vacation. He keeps a vacation fund that he puts a solid 3% of his contract in every season so he’ll have enough money to travel in the offseason when he feels like it. He doesn’t travel much, but when he does he uses a lot of money and makes his stays last a good while.

[.simo]

WSBL PT

[Southie]

As a member of The Church Of The Latter-Day Saints, a significant portion of Lot Smith VIII's money has gone to the church. Since Lot Smith belongs to a large family that has been blessed by wealth over the years, He doesn't have a lot of concern about  his financial situation after professional football but he's the kind of man who enjoys work. As such, he has opened a small chain of outdoor outfitters in his home state of Florida. So far he has two stores in Jacksonville and another one in Gainesville. Number 28's Arms and Tents is  one of Florida's largest arms sellers and  the premier shop for all your firearms need in the southeast,

Besides the outdoor outfitters, Lot doesn't really have that many plans for life after football. He aims to retire to a ranch somewhere in Utah or Florida and spend most of days hunting and fishing. Lot Smith VIII is not a complicated  man in any sense of the word. He  finds solace in the outdoors and likes to live off the land. There's no entrepreneurial spirit within him. He certainty enjoys hard work but he's not one meant for the camera despite his father being an incredibly charismatic preacher.

206 Words