09-06-2017, 04:20 PM
(This post was last modified: 09-06-2017, 05:07 PM by BoltyMcSpeedy.)
To NSFL Team GM's
As the Season 3 NSFL Draft Approaches, we here at Buster Mimes' Agents and Grocery would like to address the GM's of the prestigious NSFL in regards to some troubling articles written in an attempt to bury our client, Erlich Burnsman, RB.
First though, allow us to properly introduce Erlich Burnsman, first of his name, protector of leather, trampler of turf, Stiffer of arms, Seeker of Touchdowns, Winner of games. He was born somewhere during some year in the past, then, suddenly, he played high school ball. He earned the Nickname 'bolty' because he was slightly faster than a kid one time in a footrace in 9th grade. Some say the other kid is still running to this day. Burnsman ran right into the High School hall of fame. (not for football but for most days absent)
There was a scandal once many months ago regarding reptiles. Disregard all of those unproven rumors. You may have seen an interview on here with Marc Spector and Erlich Burnsman. That reporter was trying to harm my client...
..but, that was only the first time we've faced such challenges...
Ladies and Gentleman of the NSFL, DO NOT let it slip your mind that in his first day of game action for the Yellowknife Wraiths (waivers week 14) my client Erlich Burnsman, in the 3rd quarter, on 3rd and goal, from the 3 yards line, ran for 3 yards and scored that TD. #31, ran for 3 to score 1.
The wraiths went on to win that game by a narrow margin.
DO NOT let it slip your minds that my client #31 Erlich Burnsman has averaged 3.1 yards per carry in his very short time in the NSFL. Good for (T-13th) in season 2 across ALL positions.
Yet... in a recent report written by Marc Spector, you would think my client #31 Erlich Burnsman was a steamy pile of hot trash, destined to be "clearly... RB2 material if he is allowed to stay in the NSFL. If sent to the DSFL, he'll be a candidate for the offensive player of the year. He won't be in the DSFL for long though, if he goes there at all." We at Buster Mimes agents and Grocery SPIT ON THAT STATEMENT.
Our client #31 Erlich Burnsman is a future Hall of Famer. He will not "be a candidate" for anything, he will simply BE that thing. Burnsman accomplishes EXACTLY what he sets out to do EXACTLY how he sets out to do it.
Ladies and Gentleman IT IS NO COINCIDENCE my client wears #31 and has averaged 3.1 yards per carry. This was by design. He assures us this was just to prove a point and his average will climb at his own command. We would not dare doubt Burnsman.
Now, back to the rookie scouting report.. We do not think for one second here at Buster Mimes Agents and Grocery that our Client, #31 Erlich Burnsman, is a "5th round candidate" WE KNOW that our client is a high 3rd round pick. Let us remind you. in just 12 attempts, Burnsman is tied for 13th in the league FOR ALL OF S3 in both yards per carry, and rushing touchdowns. He has been in the league for only a month! Let that sink in. But we dug a little deeper. It appears that Spector's team, the Otters, may a need at RB2. Now, we would never point fingers at a fine gentleman like Marc Spector, a brilliant CB in this league, BUT IF WE DID, we would remind the GMs out there that there a chance Spector is aware of the need, and is taking the opportunity to inaccurately grade Burnsman, in an attempt to set up his team, the Otters, in making the STEAL OF THE DRAFT BY SELECTING LATE, MY CLIENT, NUMBER THIRTY-ONE, ERLICH BURNSMAN!!!
We will let you be the judge.
Burnsman and Spector are no strangers, It is no coincidence they were interviewed together upons Burnsman's arrival to the league. While Burnsman would be happy to play for the Otters, or any team, WE WILL NOT ALLOW OUR CLIENT TO BE WEIGHED DOWN IN THIS DRAFT.
GMS of NSFL, we ask you look with your own special eyes at our client, #31 Erlich Burnsman, and do not take the word of others when preparing for tonight's draft. We urge ALL GMs to really let it sink in. Is it about today's TPE, or is it about the future? We know those teams looking ahead will value our client #31 Erlich Burnsman appropriately. Einstein once said " Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value" Einstein was a shit and he, too, is trying to damage my client. #31 is a man of success. and he is a five star man.
-Buster Mimes, on behalf of Erlich Burnsman
-Buster Mimes' Agents and Grocery
(827 words)
As the Season 3 NSFL Draft Approaches, we here at Buster Mimes' Agents and Grocery would like to address the GM's of the prestigious NSFL in regards to some troubling articles written in an attempt to bury our client, Erlich Burnsman, RB.
First though, allow us to properly introduce Erlich Burnsman, first of his name, protector of leather, trampler of turf, Stiffer of arms, Seeker of Touchdowns, Winner of games. He was born somewhere during some year in the past, then, suddenly, he played high school ball. He earned the Nickname 'bolty' because he was slightly faster than a kid one time in a footrace in 9th grade. Some say the other kid is still running to this day. Burnsman ran right into the High School hall of fame. (not for football but for most days absent)
There was a scandal once many months ago regarding reptiles. Disregard all of those unproven rumors. You may have seen an interview on here with Marc Spector and Erlich Burnsman. That reporter was trying to harm my client...
..but, that was only the first time we've faced such challenges...
Ladies and Gentleman of the NSFL, DO NOT let it slip your mind that in his first day of game action for the Yellowknife Wraiths (waivers week 14) my client Erlich Burnsman, in the 3rd quarter, on 3rd and goal, from the 3 yards line, ran for 3 yards and scored that TD. #31, ran for 3 to score 1.
The wraiths went on to win that game by a narrow margin.
DO NOT let it slip your minds that my client #31 Erlich Burnsman has averaged 3.1 yards per carry in his very short time in the NSFL. Good for (T-13th) in season 2 across ALL positions.
Yet... in a recent report written by Marc Spector, you would think my client #31 Erlich Burnsman was a steamy pile of hot trash, destined to be "clearly... RB2 material if he is allowed to stay in the NSFL. If sent to the DSFL, he'll be a candidate for the offensive player of the year. He won't be in the DSFL for long though, if he goes there at all." We at Buster Mimes agents and Grocery SPIT ON THAT STATEMENT.
Our client #31 Erlich Burnsman is a future Hall of Famer. He will not "be a candidate" for anything, he will simply BE that thing. Burnsman accomplishes EXACTLY what he sets out to do EXACTLY how he sets out to do it.
Ladies and Gentleman IT IS NO COINCIDENCE my client wears #31 and has averaged 3.1 yards per carry. This was by design. He assures us this was just to prove a point and his average will climb at his own command. We would not dare doubt Burnsman.
Now, back to the rookie scouting report.. We do not think for one second here at Buster Mimes Agents and Grocery that our Client, #31 Erlich Burnsman, is a "5th round candidate" WE KNOW that our client is a high 3rd round pick. Let us remind you. in just 12 attempts, Burnsman is tied for 13th in the league FOR ALL OF S3 in both yards per carry, and rushing touchdowns. He has been in the league for only a month! Let that sink in. But we dug a little deeper. It appears that Spector's team, the Otters, may a need at RB2. Now, we would never point fingers at a fine gentleman like Marc Spector, a brilliant CB in this league, BUT IF WE DID, we would remind the GMs out there that there a chance Spector is aware of the need, and is taking the opportunity to inaccurately grade Burnsman, in an attempt to set up his team, the Otters, in making the STEAL OF THE DRAFT BY SELECTING LATE, MY CLIENT, NUMBER THIRTY-ONE, ERLICH BURNSMAN!!!
We will let you be the judge.
Burnsman and Spector are no strangers, It is no coincidence they were interviewed together upons Burnsman's arrival to the league. While Burnsman would be happy to play for the Otters, or any team, WE WILL NOT ALLOW OUR CLIENT TO BE WEIGHED DOWN IN THIS DRAFT.
GMS of NSFL, we ask you look with your own special eyes at our client, #31 Erlich Burnsman, and do not take the word of others when preparing for tonight's draft. We urge ALL GMs to really let it sink in. Is it about today's TPE, or is it about the future? We know those teams looking ahead will value our client #31 Erlich Burnsman appropriately. Einstein once said " Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value" Einstein was a shit and he, too, is trying to damage my client. #31 is a man of success. and he is a five star man.
-Buster Mimes, on behalf of Erlich Burnsman
-Buster Mimes' Agents and Grocery
(827 words)
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