*French Players in American Football

[cosbornballboy]

(Preface: @Archon is a G. That is all.)

Boris Bede, Anthony Dable, James Hopper, Pat Saindon, and Francois LeMewCus. What do all these people have in common? Well first, their names are harder than me right now to spell, and I'm pretty sure I butchered half of them. Who the fuck names their child Francois LeMeowMix? It's almost offensively French. But what else do they have in common? They are French people who have failed, are failing, and are going to fail to play American football at an elite level, disgracing the name of the French in terms of American football for centuries to come. Let's break down 1 by 1 how terrible each of these players are, saving the worst for last.

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Friendly reminder that this logo STILL looks more visually appealing than Francois LeMonRove's Face[/div]

First, let's look at Boris Bede. A placekicker for the Montreal Alouettes. He's actually not half bad, which is about the most you can say for anyone on this list. He did, however, miss 6 of 31 extra points in his rookie year, but he definitely missed less extra points than Francoco LaMoreOver will miss blocks in his first two weeks.

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I mean, just look at this sexy beast[/div]

Next, Anthony Dable. What's that you ask? Is that a shitty French ripoff of "Beyblade?" No, not at all. In fact, it's a shitty French ripoff of Julio Jones. What were his stats? Nonexistent, as should Frenchie LaMoana's playing time if the Wraiths hope to win a game and keep Chris Orosz healthy.

James Hopper's middle name was Marie. Nuff said here.

Pat Saindon was the closest look we may have at a Frenchman playing OL at an NFL level, and if Franky is anything like him, we may be seeing a great, elite name in NSFL lineme- HAHAHAHAHAHA. I couldn't get through it. This man was 3 seasons and out in the NFL.

Well, Fran LaMew the Man with No Shoe has an uphill battle to climb, and God bless any Wraiths fans that buy his jersey, that resale value is gonna drop real quick-like. His agent speaks of Ricardo Sandoval's immigration status, but ignores Trump's comments on his client:

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And that is my unbiased, objective opinion.

(370 words, ready to be graded)


GRADED

[Bzerkap]

Lol @Archon don't take this lying down! He insulted your name.

The French will rise up after their third wine of the evening and begin to smell in your direction

[kckolbe]

Why do you think he's a Wraith? So many Canadians want to be believe they are French, so they somehow identify with him.

[Merica]

Lol @Archon don't take this lying down! He insulted your name.

The French will rise up after their third wine of the evening and begin to smell in your direction

You lost me at "the French will rise up"...unless you meant "rise up the white flag".

[cosbornballboy]

Lol @Archon don't take this lying down! He insulted your name.

The French will rise up after their third wine of the evening and begin to smell in your direction

I expect something to the extent of, "Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberrys!"

[Archon]

You have offended my honneur! I challenge you to a duel! *takes off white glove and slaps Ricardo's face with it*

[cosbornballboy]

You have offended my honneur! I challenge you to a duel! *takes off white glove and slaps Ricardo's face with it*

Jokes on you, you just got your glove dirty. Adieu.

[Archon]

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:crybaby: Link me to the retirement forum?

[Rindiee]

+1 10/10 meme

[37thchamber]

You have offended my honneur! I challenge you to a duel! *takes off white glove and slaps Ricardo's face with it*

I'm getting mixed signals here. That looked a lot like waving a small white flag waving... but aggressively.