*The Noble Power Rankings

ADwyer87 · 10-31-2017, 10:30 PM

Forget all these other weak hot takes and power rankings based on "facts", "stats", or "meaningful data". Thats all bullshit! Theres only one thing that matters in Saskatoon, and by extension the entire world, and that is Carson Levi Shmyr, better known as "Noble", "dustyatters", "the GOAT", or "The Sasky Bieber". We will be ranking the NSFL teams by how Noble they are, lets start from the top.

1. Colorado Yeti COL

This is an easy one. Noble himself is on the team, and was co-Gm at one point. On top of that, they drafted Rich Gucci, who was also Noble! Can you imagine having not one, but TWO Nobles on a team at the same time? The greatness would be shocking. No wonder people requested out, they couldn't handle all that fame! By this logic, Colorado should win at LEAST the next 5 ultimus trophies.

2. Yellowknife Wraiths YKW

They drafted James Warner! yet another wonderful MixAndMatch product that brought you Rich Gucci. On top of that, they have Joseph Askins, which always reminds me of Dusty Atters for some reason, therefore he must be Noble as well

3. Arizona Outlaws ARI

Have you see n all the money Er has? that can only be acquired by editing bank logs and job pay posts after they're posted. And we all know he rigs! In fact, obviously every trade, FA signing, and win in-sim is a clear rigging that only the Great Noble could pull off. He must be involved, the question is where? Is it Me? AsylumParty? Or perhaps has Ballerstorm been bamboozling us this whole time??? The world may never know.

4. Orange County Otters OCO

Mike Boss just had a great year. After being so bad in S1 and just ok in S2, suddenly he became an MVP frontrunner, conveniently right when Noble wasnt allowed to play in S3. Coincidence? I think NOT!! Not to mention, they have J.J. Reigns, the first overall pick notorious for the line "i've forgot more about this sim than you'll ever learn, so when I say you aren't going to win, you aren't going to win." He then proceeded to see his team lose and then go inactive. What does this have to do with Noble? Nothing, its just so absolutely ridiculous that it should never be forgotten.

5. Baltimore Hawks BAL

Honestly, if it came out today that Carmel Gibson was a Noble multi, no one would be surprised. Even if he wasn't a Noble multi, they clearly share the same mind. Noble noticed this when he entered the TPE wrong, and allowed it to slide. Anyone Noble deems acceptable to cheat is clearly a model citizen

6. San Jose Sabercats SJS

A certain user getting busted for going behind the scenes to help GM the Wraiths, while the man we now know as a Noble multi was on the team. Clearly this means one of two things: Either Noble wooed over bzerkap and tlk with his beautiful singing voice, or bzerkap and tlk are both Noble multis! Both are equally likely.

7. Las Vegas Legion LVL

A team THIS bad could never be approved by Noble! In fact, I bet the infamous first overall pick trade between the Legion and the Outlaws was orchestrated by Noble out of his sheer disapproval for the organization! The only reason the Legion are up here is because they have formx, who still might be a Noble multi, jury is still out.

8. Philadelphia Liberty PHI

Matt James disapproves of the Liberty. Matt James is a high class individual, much like our great Noble is, No way a team that gets the big "no" from him can hang with the rest of the league in these all-knowing Noble power rankings.

627 words

$420 to @4D Chess #BlazeIt
$22 to @timeconsumer so he can buy himself a case of beer
$69 to @`TimPest` for being the best
$100 to @automatic for holding out in S2 so i could draft the best
$6.98 to @Muford for that one time he bought me McDonalds and i forgot my wallet at home
$14 to @Bzerkap for the pizza
$0 to @Perry87 for wanting to screw up grading payouts
$100 to @Rich because everyone else is doing it
$5 to @ErMurazor for always rigging the sim doing a good job
$1,000 to @iamslm22 for suffering through Jets football with me
the rest send to @`Sanctus` because he needs it!