*Andrew Reese Apologizes

[SwagSloth]

Andrew Reese Apologizes
Arizona DT Suspended for PEDs

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The league was shocked recently when Defensive Tackle Andrew Reese was suspended for the use of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PEDs). NSFL Officials have not commented on whether or not an investigation was already ongoing, but we’re told that Reese elected to come forward before he was approached in any official capacity and admitted to the use of a banned substance. A swift decision was rendered and the league has made it clear that this type of cheating will not be tolerated. In his official statement following the league’s judgment, Reese made it clear that he was ready to abide by whatever punishment that league officials settled on and that he would not be appealing.

A few weeks have passed since the decision was announced and, with preseason over, Reese now prepares to step aside and will be allowed to return to the Outlaws practice field after being suspended for 4 games. NSFL officials have given him approval to speak to the media and he has opted to come forward with his side of the story.

Q: This is going to be a difficult interview. Are you ready to begin?

A: I am ready. I just want to help make sure that people know the truth, so maybe we can avoid more speculation.

Q: You’ve been accused by the league of using PEDs and admitted to doing so. You also publicly admitted to that in an official statement. Before we go forward, are you standing by that?

A: I am. What I did was wrong. I’m not here to deny anything. I owe it to our fans to be transparent in this matter.

Q: What led you to start taking PEDs? And when did the usage first occur?

A: It began in the offseason right around the start of training camp. I wasn’t satisfied with my performance in my first season and I was placing a lot of internal pressure on myself to step up. I don’t know if it’s fair to say that I didn’t play well last season, but my performance on the field wasn’t one that stood out. In a lot of ways, I felt like a non-factor. Maybe that’s the result of moving from a high-visibility role like Quarterback into more of a team player role like the Defensive Line. I’ve learned from talking to some of the best linemen in the league that it can be a thankless job. A lot of times, when we approach our role the right way, it creates results, but those results aren’t necessarily recorded on the stat line. That can be frustrating. For someone who switched positions like myself, it can also make you miss the days when you were in a more glorified role. And that’s not to knock the Defensive Tackle role because I know that what I do on the field matters, but I guess that it’s something that I question at times and that led to a lot of personal insecurity. I wanted more than I had. And that led me to cross a line. The irony is that my insecurity started because I felt like I was letting my team down, but in reality, the only time I really let them down was when I made the decision to start taking PEDs.

Q: Do you regret what you did?

A: Absolutely. That’s the reason I chose to come forward. Let me be very clear on that. I was dealing with a lot of guilt and uneasiness. As the regular season came closer, I couldn’t imagine allowing what I did to actually impact a regulation game. I needed to put this behind me for both the sake of the league’s integrity and the sake of my own conscience.

Q: Word going around is that you came forward and approached the Head Office to make them aware of the situation. What prompted this?

A: That is correct. As I alluded to, once I started taking the PEDs, I became disgusted with myself. I had trouble looking at myself in the mirror. The risk of getting caught haunted me and I became paranoid. Some might say I shouldn’t have cheated if I wasn’t prepared to deal with the stress of hiding it, but I’ve never used them before, so I didn’t know how it would make me feel once I started. It wasn’t something that I was mentally prepared for. Personally, though, I’m glad that my conscience didn’t allow me to keep doing it. I knew it was wrong and I think I made the right decision to handle this the way I did. A few people out in the public eye did ask why I didn’t consider just stopping cold turkey and trying to move on. Maybe I could have. I don’t know. But I do know that I could never have completely moved on if I didn’t come clean. That’s just not who I am. Deep down, I needed to atone for this and that’s why I made the choice to came forward.

Q: You just stated that you’ve never cheated in the past. I think it’s important that we follow up on that. To be clear, have you ever abused PEDs before this season?

A: I can tell you with absolutely certainty that I have not. That might be hard for some people to believe and I don’t blame them. You don’t do something like this by accident. This was something that I actively had to seek out and educate myself on before I made the decision to finally go through with it. It was a calculated decision. Granted, it was a bad decision and one that I came to regret fairly quickly, but at the time, it was very calculated. So, that creates a stigma around me and it’s only fair that people remain skeptical. That stigma is something I’m probably going to have to work my whole career to change and the only person I have to blame for that is myself. The only silver lining here is that perhaps I can be an example for other players who may have been tempted to do this or who might still be actively doing this.

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Q: Are you aware of any other players who are using PEDS, either in the Arizona locker room or any other team’s locker room?

A: I’m not aware of anyone specifically. I would assume that it happens on some level, though I can’t prove that and I’m certainly not in a position to pass judgment. In any competitive league, there’s going to be some pressure on players to cheat. The drive to win is powerful and sometimes that pushes us to lengths that are beyond acceptable. Perhaps it’s possible that I’m the only active player who has done this and I hope that’s true; it’s been a long time since this type of behavior was discovered publicly in the league. It’s also something that, by its own nature, is very secretive. But you hear rumors and I think people will always suspect foul play of some kind in any professional sports league.

Q: Well then, hypothetically, if there were any other players out there engaging in this type of cheating and you found out, what would you say to them?

A: Again, I want to be clear that I’m not in a position to judge or wag my finger at anyone. I fully understand why the temptation is there. I clearly fell prey to it myself. So, if anyone hearing this is in that same position, I want you to know that I understand why you went down that path. If they’re anything like me, they probably regret it. They may not know if they have the will power to stop or they may feel that they’re simply stuck on that path, but just as it takes an active decision to start doing it, it also takes an active decision to step away and move on. And I encourage them to make that decision to put themselves on the right path.

Q: What do you say to fans who look up to you? Do you feel that you’ve let them down?

A: I let a lot of people down, the fans included. This was a serious error in judgment and one that will stay with me for the rest of my career. The last thing I want is for anyone to follow in my footsteps. If anything, I hope they learn from what I’ve done. Going into it, everything made sense in my head. I don’t want to underplay that. I didn’t go into this planning to become an example. This was something I thought I could get away with. And yet, once I found myself in the act, my conscience couldn’t allow me to keep going. In hindsight, it just wasn’t worth the toll that it took on me mentally and the damage that it did to my reputation.

Q: You said that you’re not aware of any players using PEDs. Did any member of team management encourage you to use them? Or was there an underlying pressure to win at all costs that might encourage team members to cheat even if it wasn’t explicitly said?

A: I understand why you would ask that and I’m sure it’s something that others are already asking themselves, but the management and coaching staff have shown outstanding character through all of this. Their only concern from the moment I came forward was that we deal with this out in the open, so that everyone can move on. I apologized directly to my GM after I made my statement to the Head Office and he was fully supportive of my decision to come forward even though it would affect the team. Obviously, he was not happy that I chose to cheat, but I think he appreciated that I wanted to put it behind me before it did any more damage. And my understanding is that the team is willing to give me a chance to redeem myself once the suspension has been served.

Q: So, no one encouraged you to cheat. Correct?

A: That is correct. I made this decision completely on my own. There’s going to be pressure to win in any locker room, but this wasn’t something that anyone involved with the Outlaws asked me to do.

Q: Arizona does have a history of abuses tracking back to S3 when several players were caught using PEDs. Does this set the team’s reputation back?

A: I really hope it doesn’t have that effect. I want to be very clear that the decision to do this was mine and mine alone. This is a team that has done a lot to repair their reputation. And I know I’ve jeopardized that. On some level, at least, I have to believe that my teammates are disappointed in me. Some of them are probably even angry or upset. And I don’t fault the guys that feel that way. Unfortunately, something like this can reflect back on the team, which is a big part of why I want to be so transparent about the whole matter. The Outlaws are a great organization that has handled themselves ethically both on and off the field. Mistakes have been made in the past, but we’re dealing with a new management team and an all-new roster. The only thing that hasn’t changed is the team name and, from what I understand, even that was debated at one point. If my actions have cast doubt on this organization, then I am extremely sorry for that.

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Q: You’re returning to a locker room with several new team members acquired in the NSFL S12 draft. From our understanding, you’ve had limited interaction with these rookies and your return in a few weeks will be your first chance to really get to know them. What will you say to your new teammates in light of this scandal?

A: I think it’s important that we always try to set an example. Unfortunately, the only example I seem to have set so far is an example of what not to do. I’m looking forward to getting to know them on an individual level and I hope that they’ll give me a chance to show them what type of man I really am. I think the big lesson here is that pressure can drive us to make poor choices, but at the end of the day, we have to succeed or fail on our own merit. Cheating doesn’t accomplish anything.

Q: You have had a few people come forward publicly to defend your character. It’s generally agreed across the board that the use of PEDs was definitely wrong, but some argue that the decision to come forward should have prompted some leniency. What are your thoughts on the punishment itself?

A: At the end of the day, there’s no way for me to determine what level of leniency, if any, was taken. This is the first punishment of this type that has been handed out by the current administration and we can’t really hold them accountable for the decisions of past incarnations. For all I know, if I hadn’t come forward, they may have suspended me for several seasons once the truth did come out. So, 4 games seems okay to me. So far, it’s given me time to reflect on what I did and I hope that people can see that from this interview. On a personal level, I would like to think that the punishment would have been far worse if I did not approach them first because I think it’s important for them to encourage people to come forward, but I have no issues with the punishment itself. As far as the people defending my character, I do appreciate that and I hope I can live up to the expectations that people had for me before all of this happened. However, this was absolutely a failure of character on my part and I can’t defend that. I broke the rules and I let down the people who count on me. There’s nothing commendable about that.

Q: Whether you feel you needed to be defended or not, there was enough support for an appeal that many believe your sentence would have been reduced. Wouldn’t it have been wise to lower your punishment if that option was indeed on the table?

A: That’s all speculation. I did have several people ask me to try to appeal. It’s very possible the sentence would have been reduced, but I chose to come forward and I think that carries with it a responsibility to stand by the league’s judgment. I told the commissioner to his face that I would abide by whatever decision was rendered. As a man, I don’t think that’s something I can go back on simply because it’s convenient. I made a mistake. I have to make amends for that mistake. Ultimately, I’m satisfied with the way that I’ve handled myself since bringing this issue to light. I’ve told the world that I regret what I did and I feel that appealing for a lighter sentence sends a message that I don’t want to send.

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Q: The team is now set to begin its march forward until the regular season and will obviously be hitting the field without you. Prior to this suspension, a lot of experts had them predicted to make a comeback this year, but losing a starter can be disruptive to any organization. If the team doesn’t fare well during those first four games, how much of the blame do you place on yourself for that?

A: At the end of the day, I’m just one man. It would be extremely arrogant to think that my absence alone would cost us a game. I’m really proud of the guys that surround me. I think they’re going to play very well this season and I’m looking forward to retaking the field with them in 4 weeks. That said, what I did puts them in a tight spot and it makes the difficult games a little bit more difficult. And that doesn’t make me feel good about myself. Any losses that come up in those first four games are going to weight heavily on me and, regardless, I know I’m going to have to make up for lost time once I hit that practice field. They’re going to have to be able to count on me to be in mid-season shape by the time I return and that’s not going to be easy to do without access to the team’s facility. But I do have full confidence in the team to do well without me. I just hope that I’ll be able to do my part once I return.

Q: I’m sure you’ll be glad to get back to work once this is over, but you will have to face the judgment of your peers across the league. How do you plan to deal with that?

A: All I can do is deal with it one day at a time. Undoubtedly, people will be suspicious. As I said, I don’t fault them for that. There’s going to be a lot of people that feel that the league should keep a close eye on me going forward and I invite them to do exactly that. This was my mistake and the pressure is on me to make things right. I messed up. The consequences of that are mine to live with. All I can really do is go back to doing things the right way and hope that it will make a difference in the long run. It may take a few seasons to get there, but I hope that one day people will forgive what I’ve done and allow me to be judged on what I do going forward. I haven’t earned that privilege yet, but I hope that one day I will get there.

3216 Words

[iamslm22]

Great article. Glad to hear you're moving forward. It was a mistake, but I don't think you should really beat yourself up. You came forward immediately. The fact that some people in HO nailed you so hard on this when they have accepted ER with open arms (and allowed him to get a job) is shocking.

[SwagSloth]

Great article. Glad to hear you're moving forward. It was a mistake, but I don't think you should really beat yourself up. You came forward immediately. The fact that some people in HO nailed you so hard on this when they have accepted ER with open arms (and allowed him to get a job) is shocking.

Thanks. I wrote most of it around when the punishment was first announced and was just looking to do something productive with it.

I think almost everyone (or at least everyone I've spoken to) feels that it was a dumb move, but I did the right thing in the end.

[DeathOnReddit]

Great article. Glad to hear you're moving forward. It was a mistake, but I don't think you should really beat yourself up. You came forward immediately. The fact that some people in HO nailed you so hard on this when they have accepted ER with open arms (and allowed him to get a job) is shocking.

Er did his time and its been a year since then.

[SwagSloth]

Er did his time and its been a year since then.

I'll second this. He served the sentence that was handed down and has carried himself well since returning. That's all we can really ask of someone.