EDITOR’S DISCLAIMER: BuzzSim is a 100% serious news organization that strives to set the standard for journalistic integrity while delivering evidence based and peer reviewed content to it’s dozens of readers. We demand to be taken seriously. Thank you.
Ever since the dawn of creation, one question has plagued mankind: Which NSFL team logo is the best? Is there a way to objectively answer this question, or is it all a matter of opinion? Here at BuzzSim, we believe that all opinion-based questions can indeed have right or wrong answers, and if you disagree with ours, you are wrong.
The question remains: How do we know which team logos and names are the best? Because they look or sound the coolest? Or because of some clever wordplay? Our dedicated team of linguistic and market research experts believe they have found the answer… which of these entirely fictional teams can pass as a real life franchise? The Boston Red Sox or the Miami Dolphins may not be necessarily be exciting, but nobody questions whether or not they are real teams. Why is that? Is it because they are actually real teams? Or is there another factor at play? Our industry-leading experts believe they have identified what makes a team logo seem real... our scientists are calling it realism.
Now, we know what you’re thinking. “How are you supposed to measure realism?” The answer to that is obvious: Science! The most tried and true method of quantitative scientific research and analysis is by randomized controlled prospective observational cohort study. For all of our non-college graduate readers, another name for this kind of study is a survey.
The methods for this scientific randomized controlled prospective observational cohort study (survey) are simple. Last weekend, our chief editor bovovovo went on vacation with his family (his father, his mother, his brother, his brother’s girlfriend, his wife, and his dog). After consuming varying volumes of alcohol (ranging from none to possibly too much), bovovovo told his family members that he was about to show them a bunch of football team logos. The participants (one father, one mother, one brother, one brother’s girlfriend, one wife, and one dog) were told that some of these teams were 100% real and were defunct arena or XFL football teams. However, they were also told that some of these teams were entirely made up by people on the internet pretending to be football team owners. The study participants were tasked with identifying which teams they thought were real, which teams they thought were fake, and briefly explaining why.
Using this method (which has been scientifically proven via meta-analysis conducted by Harvard behavioral theory researchers to be a valid study which produces significant results), we here at BuzzSim hope to identify which NSFL team’s logos are “realistic.”
The participants were shown the team logo and were told the team’s full name (i.e. location and team name).
EDITORS NOTE: To those who think this is immoral because one of our editor’s lied to his family: The San Jose Sabercats were in fact a real arena football team, so take your critical cynicism and stick it in a juice box and suck it.
ANOTHER EDITORS NOTE: We would like to genuinely apologize in advance for any accidental alcohol-induced shade or insults being thrown by the participants of this study at the designers of these teams and their logos. They are all wonderful ideas and designs and the designers have 100% more creativity and artistic ability than anybody here at BuzzSim, and these opinions (while 100% entirely scientific and therefore indisputable) do not reflect the opinions held by BuzzSim or its constituents. Please direct any death threats to the unpaid interns who wrote this.
Participant 1: The Father
Familiarity with sports in general: 9/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: A decent amount
BALTIMORE HAWKS
Were they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “It’s pretty believable. Aren’t all the other Baltimore teams birds too?”
COLORADO YETI
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Logo doesn’t really look right. I can’t see that on a helmet.”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Not really a footbally name.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Never heard of Yellowknife before.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “Looks real.” This reasoning has been marked by our scientists as being significantly insightful
LAS VEGAS LEGION
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of them before.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Never heard of Orange County having a sports team.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Sabercats doesn’t seem like a real name to me.”
Participant 2: The Mother
Familiarity with sports in general: 5/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: Half of an Angry Orchard
BALTIMORE HAWKS
Were they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “It looks good.” Spoiler alert: Some variation of this answer was her reasoning for literally everything
COLORADO YETI
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It sounds good.”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “It doesn’t sound good.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “It doesn’t sound right.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks right.”
LAS VEGAS LEGION
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “It doesn’t sound right.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks good.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It sounds right.”
Participant 3: The Brother
Familiarity with sports in general: 7/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: Probably too much
BALTIMORE HAWKS
Were they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of them before” Spoiler alert: He thinks he’s heard of a lot of these before.
COLORADO YETI
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Logo doesn’t look professional.”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “I don’t think that’s a real thing.” Yes, brother, that’s the point…
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks awesome.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of that before.”
LAS VEGAS LEGION
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of that before.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I’ve heard of that before.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I’ve heard of that before.” Maybe he actually did?
Participant 4: The Brother’s Girlfriend
Familiarity with sports in general: 2/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Never heard of it
Alcohol consumed: Definitely too much
BALTIMORE HAWKS
Were they real?: NO
What’s you reasoning?: “I think you’re trying to trick me.”
COLORADO YETI
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks so cool!”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That’s a cool name.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Yellowknife isn’t a real place.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “They can’t have guns in football.”
LAS VEGAS LEGION
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “They weren’t there when I was in Vegas.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I like the colors.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I like the logo.”
Participant 5: The Wife
Familiarity with sports in general: 7/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: A decent amount, you wouldn’t want her driving
BALTIMORE HAWKS
Were they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “It just looks right.” Most of her reasoning followed this logic
COLORADO YETI
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “How could you put that on a helmet?”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTY
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “That doesn’t look right.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That looks right.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “That doesn’t look right.”
LAS VEGAS LEGION
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That looks really good.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERS
Were they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That would look good on a helmet.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATS
Were they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “That doesn’t look right.”
Participant 6: The Dog
Unfortunately, the dog had fallen asleep, so our researchers decided that his results would likely not be valid because of the risk of confounding variables leading to insignificant results
THE RESULTS
By taking the five participants and their answers, and by diving each team’s answers of “YES” by the total number of participants, we can create what Harvard scientists call a realism coefficient percentage. The higher the percentage, the more realistic the team’s name and logo is.
4/5 or 80%
2/5 or 40%
1/5 or 20%
2/5 or 40%
3/5 or 60%
3/5 or 60%
4/5 or 80%
3/5 or 60%
Given these BuzzSim Trademarked Realism Coefficient Percentages we can sort the NSFL teams by whose logos and team names are scientifically the most realistic! Our Georgia Institute of Technology statisticians have sorted the teams into three tiers:
Tier 1:
Tier 2:
Tier 3:
So there you have it! According to BuzzSim Analytics, the quantifiably and scientifically proven, empirically based, peer reviewed, case controlled, most realistic NSFL team names / logos are the Orange County Otters and the Baltimore Hawks!
Thank you for reading this week’s edition of BuzzSim! Tune in next week for the next installment of our hit series, Twenty Seven NSFL Player Butts That Will Make You A More Spiritual Person!!
(1626 Words)
Graded
Ever since the dawn of creation, one question has plagued mankind: Which NSFL team logo is the best? Is there a way to objectively answer this question, or is it all a matter of opinion? Here at BuzzSim, we believe that all opinion-based questions can indeed have right or wrong answers, and if you disagree with ours, you are wrong.
The question remains: How do we know which team logos and names are the best? Because they look or sound the coolest? Or because of some clever wordplay? Our dedicated team of linguistic and market research experts believe they have found the answer… which of these entirely fictional teams can pass as a real life franchise? The Boston Red Sox or the Miami Dolphins may not be necessarily be exciting, but nobody questions whether or not they are real teams. Why is that? Is it because they are actually real teams? Or is there another factor at play? Our industry-leading experts believe they have identified what makes a team logo seem real... our scientists are calling it realism.
Now, we know what you’re thinking. “How are you supposed to measure realism?” The answer to that is obvious: Science! The most tried and true method of quantitative scientific research and analysis is by randomized controlled prospective observational cohort study. For all of our non-college graduate readers, another name for this kind of study is a survey.
The methods for this scientific randomized controlled prospective observational cohort study (survey) are simple. Last weekend, our chief editor bovovovo went on vacation with his family (his father, his mother, his brother, his brother’s girlfriend, his wife, and his dog). After consuming varying volumes of alcohol (ranging from none to possibly too much), bovovovo told his family members that he was about to show them a bunch of football team logos. The participants (one father, one mother, one brother, one brother’s girlfriend, one wife, and one dog) were told that some of these teams were 100% real and were defunct arena or XFL football teams. However, they were also told that some of these teams were entirely made up by people on the internet pretending to be football team owners. The study participants were tasked with identifying which teams they thought were real, which teams they thought were fake, and briefly explaining why.
Using this method (which has been scientifically proven via meta-analysis conducted by Harvard behavioral theory researchers to be a valid study which produces significant results), we here at BuzzSim hope to identify which NSFL team’s logos are “realistic.”
The participants were shown the team logo and were told the team’s full name (i.e. location and team name).
EDITORS NOTE: To those who think this is immoral because one of our editor’s lied to his family: The San Jose Sabercats were in fact a real arena football team, so take your critical cynicism and stick it in a juice box and suck it.
ANOTHER EDITORS NOTE: We would like to genuinely apologize in advance for any accidental alcohol-induced shade or insults being thrown by the participants of this study at the designers of these teams and their logos. They are all wonderful ideas and designs and the designers have 100% more creativity and artistic ability than anybody here at BuzzSim, and these opinions (while 100% entirely scientific and therefore indisputable) do not reflect the opinions held by BuzzSim or its constituents. Please direct any death threats to the unpaid interns who wrote this.
Participant 1: The Father
Familiarity with sports in general: 9/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: A decent amount
BALTIMORE HAWKSWere they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “It’s pretty believable. Aren’t all the other Baltimore teams birds too?”
COLORADO YETIWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Logo doesn’t really look right. I can’t see that on a helmet.”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTYWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Not really a footbally name.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Never heard of Yellowknife before.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “Looks real.” This reasoning has been marked by our scientists as being significantly insightful
LAS VEGAS LEGIONWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of them before.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Never heard of Orange County having a sports team.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Sabercats doesn’t seem like a real name to me.”
Participant 2: The Mother
Familiarity with sports in general: 5/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: Half of an Angry Orchard
BALTIMORE HAWKSWere they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “It looks good.” Spoiler alert: Some variation of this answer was her reasoning for literally everything
COLORADO YETIWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It sounds good.”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTYWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “It doesn’t sound good.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “It doesn’t sound right.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks right.”
LAS VEGAS LEGIONWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “It doesn’t sound right.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks good.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It sounds right.”
Participant 3: The Brother
Familiarity with sports in general: 7/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: Probably too much
BALTIMORE HAWKSWere they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of them before” Spoiler alert: He thinks he’s heard of a lot of these before.
COLORADO YETIWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Logo doesn’t look professional.”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTYWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “I don’t think that’s a real thing.” Yes, brother, that’s the point…
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks awesome.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of that before.”
LAS VEGAS LEGIONWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I think I’ve heard of that before.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I’ve heard of that before.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I’ve heard of that before.” Maybe he actually did?
Participant 4: The Brother’s Girlfriend
Familiarity with sports in general: 2/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Never heard of it
Alcohol consumed: Definitely too much
BALTIMORE HAWKSWere they real?: NO
What’s you reasoning?: “I think you’re trying to trick me.”
COLORADO YETIWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “It looks so cool!”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTYWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That’s a cool name.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “Yellowknife isn’t a real place.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “They can’t have guns in football.”
LAS VEGAS LEGIONWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “They weren’t there when I was in Vegas.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I like the colors.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “I like the logo.”
Participant 5: The Wife
Familiarity with sports in general: 7/10
Familiarity with arena football / XFL: Knows they exist(ed) but that’s pretty much it
Alcohol consumed: A decent amount, you wouldn’t want her driving
BALTIMORE HAWKSWere they real?: YES
What’s you reasoning?: “It just looks right.” Most of her reasoning followed this logic
COLORADO YETIWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “How could you put that on a helmet?”
PHILADELPHIA LIBERTYWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “That doesn’t look right.”
YELLOWKNIFE WRAITHSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That looks right.”
ARIZONA OUTLAWSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “That doesn’t look right.”
LAS VEGAS LEGIONWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That looks really good.”
ORANGE COUNTY OTTERSWere they real?: YES
What’s your reasoning?: “That would look good on a helmet.”
SAN JOSE SABERCATSWere they real?: NO
What’s your reasoning?: “That doesn’t look right.”
Participant 6: The Dog
Unfortunately, the dog had fallen asleep, so our researchers decided that his results would likely not be valid because of the risk of confounding variables leading to insignificant results
THE RESULTS
By taking the five participants and their answers, and by diving each team’s answers of “YES” by the total number of participants, we can create what Harvard scientists call a realism coefficient percentage. The higher the percentage, the more realistic the team’s name and logo is.
4/5 or 80% 2/5 or 40% 1/5 or 20% 2/5 or 40% 3/5 or 60% 3/5 or 60% 4/5 or 80% 3/5 or 60%Given these BuzzSim Trademarked Realism Coefficient Percentages we can sort the NSFL teams by whose logos and team names are scientifically the most realistic! Our Georgia Institute of Technology statisticians have sorted the teams into three tiers:
Tier 1:
Tier 2:
Tier 3:
So there you have it! According to BuzzSim Analytics, the quantifiably and scientifically proven, empirically based, peer reviewed, case controlled, most realistic NSFL team names / logos are the Orange County Otters and the Baltimore Hawks!
Thank you for reading this week’s edition of BuzzSim! Tune in next week for the next installment of our hit series, Twenty Seven NSFL Player Butts That Will Make You A More Spiritual Person!!
(1626 Words)
Graded
![[Image: image.png]](https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/332292285788192788/401385203261636609/image.png)
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![[Image: bam_bam.png]](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/742845006389444778/780215137557807124/bam_bam.png)
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Jurisprudence Jones, OL ![[Image: cYhSwFY.png]](https://i.imgur.com/cYhSwFY.png)
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