*Ashley Owens calls it a career

[run_CMC]

After New York’s last game of the season in San Jose, running back Ashley Owens didn’t join the team on the plane back to the Big Apple. He hugged his teammates, and said he’d meet them there in a little while. That night, he was seen in the Phoenix airport, getting into a car with his old mentor Dean Jackson, the retired Arizona Outlaws kicker. Two days later, just as the sun was beginning to rise on the desert, Ashley was spotted outside the Copperheads stadium in Austin; he sat solemnly on a bench across the street, staring at the place he once called home. When he was approached, he simply signed an autograph and walked away. The next evening, at last he was back in NYC, though not for long. He cleaned out his locker, said goodbye to his teammates, his coaches, the general managers. Owens’ teammates had already known what was coming, and now everybody else was starting to understand too.

It was time.

With a two hour notice, Owens called a press conference in his hometown of Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin. He stepped up to the podium and began.

“After 11 seasons in the International Simulation Football League, I’m here today to announce my retirement. It’s been a long journey, with lots of ups and lots of downs, but I feel so lucky and blessed to have had the opportunity to experience it. I know so many kids dream of playing in this league growing up, and I’m still amazed every day that for me the dream came true.

I’d like to start by saying thank you to my family; my parents, my brother, my sister. You all supported and loved me as I grew up, and as I pursued this profession—thank you.

Next, thank you to the Austin Copperheads. My old coaches and general managers from Season 17, they took a chance on me. I know a lot of fans there still don’t like me much, but Austin was a significant part of my journey in life, and the coaches and GMs were some of the best people I’ve ever met. Thank you.

Thank you to the Colorado Yeti. I spent most of my career there, and if I could go back and change things, I wouldn’t. A wonderful place to play with wonderful people—teammates and front office staff. Our Ultimus run was truly special, but so was every season spent there. Thank you.

Thank you to the New York Silverbacks. I’m truly honored that they traded for me, and my three seasons there have been a blessing. They gave my career a new spark of life even as it seemed to be drawing to a close, and I’ll always remember that. Thank you.

And of course… thank you to all the amazing teammates I’ve had throughout my time in the league. There’s simply too many people to name them all, and I don’t want to name a lot and then accidentally leave off a few… so I’ll just give specific thanks to Wolfie McDummy and Bubba Thumper. Wolfie: you were amazing dawg. It was a true pleasure to play alongside you. More than a football player, you were and are a true friend. And of course, Bubba: wow. So many years spent alongside you. I thought after that season with the Marshals I’d not play alongside you again, but I’m glad fate had other plans. It’s been an honor my brother, and I’m honored to call you a friend.

That’ll be all from me today. In a few days I’ll be flying to Colorado to sign a one day contract to retire a Yeti.

Thank you all— now I’m on to the next chapter."

———————————————

Out of character:

And with that, Ashley Owens calls it a career! Two seasons with Austin, six seasons with Colorado, three seasons with New York. Thank you all for making this possible. As with specific players, there are too many users to mention… I'd feel terrible if I tried to mention every user that has helped me, been my friend, impacted me, etc. in this league over the course of Owens’ career, and then left a few people off by accident…. so I won’t! Just a special shout-out to some past GMs and the realest fella I know in no particular order: @infinitempg, @woelkers, @Frick_Nasty, @AdamS (who I can't tag for some reason lol) . Some of you I talk to a lot, some I barely talk to anymore, but thank you all nonetheless.

Anyways, Owens retires with...

Career Stats:
25,119 all-purpose yards (#1 all time)
104 all-purpose touchdowns (#7 all time)
15,372 scrimmage yards (#3 all time)
101 scrimmage touchdowns (#7 all time)
9,109 rushing yards (#7 all time)
71 rushing touchdowns (#7 all time)
665 receptions (#17 all time, #1 among running backs)
6,263 receiving yards (#46 all time… but #1 among running backs)* [Eric Kennedy was a running back, but only for part of his career, and spent more time out wide than in the backfield]
30 receiving touchdowns (#67 all time, #5 among running backs)
8,057 kick return yards (#6 all time)
2 kick return touchdowns
1,690 punt return yards (11 all time)
1 punt return touchdowns

and perhaps greatest of all…
Owens only fumbled three times in his career, and had 1 career fumble lost.. I have to confess I thought it was zero, but I went through every game log since S25 (since I simply had the advanced stats from the sim up through S24) and sadly found that Owens fumbled and lost the fumble in Week 2 of Season 25. But, still, I need people to understand how ridiculous this stat is. Here are the fumble stats of some Hall of Fame running backs / GOAT contenders:

Owen Taylor: 38 fumbles, 25 fumbles lost
Reg Mackworthy: 29 fumbles, 14 fumbles lost
Marquise Brown: 32 fumbles, 18 fumbles lost
Darren Smallwood: 27 fumbles, 16 fumbles lost

Ok. Well, different era right? How about compare some amazing running backs from the same era as Owens… only up through season 24 which I have stats for! (At which point Owens only had 2 total fumbles, 0 of them lost).

Sam Torenson: 24 fumbles, 13 fumbles lost
Forrest Gump: 24 fumbles, 14 fumbles lost
Apollo Reed: 24 fumbles, 15 fumbles lost
Mako Mendonca: 19 fumbles, 7 fumbles lost (! this statline is actually really good-- shoutout to Mooty)
Marcella Toriki: 18 fumbles, 11 fumbles lost

I rest my case.

Career Accolades:
Season 16 DSFL 1st Overall Pick
Season 17 NSFL 1st Overall Pick
Season 17 Offensive Rookie of the Year
Seasons 18, 19, and 20 Pro Bowl (OFLEX)
Seasons 24 and 25 Pro Bowl (RB)
Season 25 Running back of the Year
Season 25 Offensive Player of the Year

I would also like to contend that I totally could’ve gotten Pro Bowl running back in Season 26… my stat line was:
269 rushes, 1,057 rushing yards, 8 rushing touchdowns
70 receptions, 726 receiving yards, 4 receiving touchdown

Player who got pro bowl spot #2:
272 rushes, 1,021 rushing yards, 19 rushing touchdowns
26 receptions, 219 receiving yards, 1 receiving touchdown

Player who got pro bowl spot #3:
202 rushes, 1,067 rushing yards, 7 rushing touchdowns
14 receptions, 71 receiving yards, 0 receiving touchdown

So Owens was better than the player in spot #2 by every metric except touchdowns… and better than the player in spot #3 by every metric except rushing efficiency, and rushing yards by 10 yards (but +~650 yards in receiving). I rest my case x2.

Ok that’s all. Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[Daybe]

 NYS legend

[zaynzk]

GOAT

[infinitempg]

Noooooooo </3 Owens should be a first ballot HOFer. Did it all.

Love ya run. Hope to see a recreate soon!

[woelkers]

My brother since day one. All the love in the world for you, Run. Proud to have been your GM, your teammate, and your friend all this time.

[ReverendOReily]

Can’t wait for your recreate <3

[shadyshoelace]

My first DSFL draft pick ever, and the easiest pick I ever made. Sad we never got to reconnect in the big leagues, but congrats on a hell of a career.

[timeconsumer]

Goodbye friend

[AdamS]

Would draft in the first again.

[Frick_Nasty]

My dude my friend, was such a pleasure to have you on my team and get you your first ultimus.