(S6) - Weekend PT 2 - Locker Room

[JBLAZE_THE_BOSS]

[run_CMC]

The early season is crucial to building a locker room culture, and one important part of locker room culture is who becomes the pranksters, and who becomes the prankees. Typically rookies are the latter, but back in Season 5, Dean Jackson was victim of Darren Morris, the rookie with the locker next to his.... or so Morris thought. The first prank involved Jackson’s cleats becoming encased in jello; now that was hilarious. But Morris also tried to convince him of things like Jackson’s toaster was sentient, or Jackson was being recruited for the CIA. The kicker saw quickly through these however, as they were pretty rediculous.... after all, Jackson left his toaster in Tijuana, Mexico when he moved out and never bothered to buy a new one. Oh, but the classic phone and nickels prank also got Jackson pretty good. Jackson had one good prank of his own when he filled Morris’s car with fake snow (wouldn’t melt) on the hottest day of the year.

(165 words)

[jparks98]

Let's get this out of the way the Yeti locker room is HOT GARBAGE! I mean some people would say well it better than a non-existent one. And to that, I say you're absolutely wrong. They talk nonstop throughout the day. I mean just talking and talking and talking. Dwayne Aaron always bragging about the Pythons beating Norfolk (They got lucky) Pierno scrolling though Darren Smallwood Instagram commenting on every little detail. Yes, for the last time we know that there was lint on his sweater last night. Boss Tweed always popping up behind me and scaring the shit out of me, asking if I want to race. No, Boss, no I don't. Ishigawa is my locker mate and he's the needle in a swordstack. His locker is filled with his "lucky football gear" that has never been washed and 3 family size bags of kettle chips. Why do you have so many kettle chips?! Nobody likes those things anyway! Micheal Tilman always trying to get one of my hair strands because he "finally figured out how to clone people." DUDE, IM BALD! Antonio Sandoval and Ricardo Sandoval always fighting. Andre Bly Jr. is always borrowing my cleaning products. Stop it! I will buy you some if you desperately need it. I could go way more in-depth because they are so annoying but I'm not getting paid for this.

[Bzerkap]

There was a pretty crazy situation in the Wraiths locker room recently. It involved our player that has recently returned from suspension, Jayce Tuck.

Well, after his spectacular S3 campaign, everyone on the defense wanted to know how he did it. Well, he told them and if you knew anything about Tuck's sordid past you would not be surprised in the slightest.

Jayce whipped out a giant bag of sugar, poured some on the table and just snorted it right up. He said,

"Lawrence Taylor was my idol, and I studied him a lot. I noticed that after every game his eyes were still wide like he had just woken up. Well, I came to find out that he had done something called booger sugar, and a lot of it. So after some research, I found out he was snorting white sugar up his noise. Now, I don't know the science behind it but it had to work. I started doing it in high school and never stopped. Look at me, I'm on top the world. It just works!"

After those words, Jayce turned back to his locker and just ripped a huge mound. The rest of the DL has been following his lead this season. The Wraiths are in the middle of potentially their greatest defensive season. Coincidence? You be the judge.

@ErMurazor

[KimJungBigDong]

After their recent victory of the Baltimore Hawks, the Wraiths players made it into their practice locker room for the first practice before facing the Second Line. When they entered the locker room, they were surprised by a new additions to it, a 12 inch long, bright pink dildo sitting in Marcus Kane's locker. Majority of the players found it amusing, but the coaches did not. "Who the fuck put this here?" asked one of the coaches. No one would spark up to who the culprit was. The coaches kept on pressing to find out who caused this, but no one would speak. So they were all forced to run laps before and after practice.

When the team got backing into the locker room, they found that the dildo was now being accompanied by a 2nd identical one, this time in Mat Akselsen. Again no one would confess to putting this one here. But the coaches now had a list of who could possible due it. But will they find out who it was?