(S6) - PT5 - Sherlock

[White Cornerback]

After Blackford Oakes demolished Connor Tanner at Golf with Friends which should have ended the feud forever Tanner reneged on the agreement and tried to steal the ring that prevents his ~SUPER SUGGESTION POWER~ from working on Oakes while he was celebrating which is a dick move yes but since then Oakes has been thinking real hard about this whole arrangement and he thinks he's now made a breakthrough with the realization that Tanner is actually a Head Office plant because ever since he ~TOTALLY FORCED ACTIVE AND CONTRIBUTING MEMBERS OF THE LEAGUE TO RETIRE AGAINST THEIR WILL~ HO has seized more and more power under the guise of keeping the league together and this has all worked out very conveniently for one person in particular - DERMOT - as he now has essentially unlimited power to do whatever he wants with the league and he's started to wield that power recently as evidenced by 3 of his multis that he's not even trying to conceal creating players and getting approved before no doubt forcing their way to play for the Yellowknife Wraiths which is a total abuse of power and something that we should not stand for, suddenly Blackford Oakes has a new mission.

Code:

203 words

no stop

[dropbear]

I believe the entire Er fiasco was manufactured by the brass at the Orange County Otters organisation. It was an elaborate plan that aimed to build up league hatred toward the Outlaws so that when the Otters finished crafting their super team, they would be seen as saviours, not as conquerors. Also, it gave the Otters a multiple-season breathing period to write off their lack of success as a result of the 'unsportsmanlike conduct' of the Arizona Outlaws, and more specifically Er in particular, while they continued to use their inside contacts at the Outlaws and other teams to ensure top talent landed in their lap in the drafts. Their indiscretions were never as obvious or egregious as the Outlaws', allowing them to slowly build an overpowered roster that would come in and defeat the evil Outlaws, bringing in a new -- welcome -- era of Otters dominance. In truth, both dynasties were manufactured by a conniving Otter out there somewhere. There are plenty of players on the Otters roster who mirror the activity level and dedication of Er, and yet it is never called into question because 'it simply couldn't happen again'. But I'm watching you, @timeconsumer, always watching.

:ninja:

[dropbear]

Have you ever heard of the theory that we're all living in a computer simulation? Basically, the idea is that with how people are, eventually someone is going to decide that ethics don't matter or something like that. We've seen it with all kinds of things. Cloning, stem cells, psychology. Shoot, if you're a fan of Black Mirror then you know that entire last episode of Season 3 is a bunch of breaches of ethics.

So the idea is that, at some point in the future, someone is going to want to put sentient life on a computer. Real peoples minds, but in a simulation. We could simulate so many things, so quickly that would allow us to look into the past and future, and it'd be so fast and cheap that companies would love to use that software without even thinking of the ethical implications of creating sentient life on a computer.

Now. Here's the real kicker. How likely do you think it is, assuming that simulations will be created in the future that we're the first ones who discovered this. It's pretty unlikely that we're the first in the grand scheme of things. So that means we're the simulation, not the simulators. Another way to think of it is like the Rick and Morty episode with the car battery that is actually a Tinyverse or Miniverse. We always think of ourselves as the original creators of the universe as a car battery (or in our case, the simulation), but the theory is that instead of being Rick in this situation, we're the dumb green aliens that make energy for Rick's car.

A lot of the decisions people make in this world would make sense if intelligence was as lowly regarded as an attribute in our 'Earth Sim' as it is in the football one.

[timeconsumer]

Zombies are real. And they're coming for us. Angus Winchester knows well enough to be prepared for the undead onslaught and has been developing his stronghold over the past 6 years with his meagre NSFL salary and endorsement deals. Although details of his Northern California farm fortress have been leaked to the media in recent weeks it has come to light that he has specifically been preparing to face an apparent invasion of the undead that he believes were awoken in the caverns under the Yellowknife Wraiths stadium and are being kept under wraps by the Canadian and US Government. With enough food, water, and security around his remote farm tucked into the Northern Californian redwood forest for his family Angus Winchester has prepared to face the zombie hordes down and survive long enough to help rebuild the world they leave behind.

Some have questioned his logic, what is the point of building and maintaining a stronghold in Northern California when you spend half the year in Southern California and are often on the road facing other teams? Apparently this thought had crossed his mind. Winchester is a licensed private pilot and has alluded to having stashed small aircraft at smaller airports near all the stadiums he travels to during the season. This way when, not if, the governments fail to contain the zombies and they bear down on humankind he can escape to safety and fly back home, landing on the airstrip on his farm to defend his family.

[Beaver]

no stop

:wub:

[37thchamber]

A lot of the decisions people make in this world would make sense if intelligence was as lowly regarded as an attribute in our 'Earth Sim' as it is in the football one.

people are waiting for the sorcery expansion before they commit to rolling high INT characters probably

[Mongoose87]

Why did the CIA take out JFK? Easy. He knew what kids love about Cinnamon Toast Crunch. At the time, Kennedy was the second youngest US President in history, after Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy was nuts, so even if Cinnamon Toast Crunch had been invented before he died, he would never have figured it out. But Kennedy was in touch with the youth. The kids loved him. Why? Not just his charisma and good looks – he knew what they loved! The absurd cocktail of drugs Kennedy took for his numerous health problems gave him superhuman insight. (Side note, this played a huge part in him dismantling the Cuban Missile Crisis.)

Big Cereal could not have that. If a politician, especially a Democrat, knew the secret that kept kids munching Cinnamon Toast Crunch like a weeaboo at an all you can eat sushi dinner, he would share that secret with the public, for the “greater good.” The greater good is always terrible for Big Anything’s profits, and Big Cereal was no different. So, they made an investment by way of a few key pockets greased and luckily the CIA had been grooming Lee Harvey Oswald – not because they needed a sleeper, but because they were trying to win a bet with MI6 – and the rest is history. Gross, brain splatter-y history.

[SwagSloth]

Okay, you’ve officially given me license to channel my crazy, so I’m taking it.

My Theory: The NFL is Rigged

Now, I’m not saying the NFL is rigged. I’m only saying that it could be and we’d never know. Think about it. If the commissioner, coaches, and owners all conspired, they could rig everything without the players knowing. Think about every time a coach makes a bone-hoarded call. Maybe they throw an easy interception on the 1-yard line. Maybe they sit a great player like Malcolm Butler for stupid or even seeming non-existent reasons. The players don’t need to know because the action on the field needs to feel authentic. That’s the only way the public will buy into it. But when the game is going great and something goes against the script, the winning coach goes out on a limb and costs his team everything. He pretends to be upset, sure, but when he leaves the locker room, he’s laughing all the way to the bank. What if something goes wrong? Sure, maybe things don’t go right 100% of the time, but if you manipulate things right, enough of it will go according to plan. And, of course, this isn’t even talking about the refs! Every fan has thought to himself at some point “How much is Goodell paying these refs to screw my team?” Maybe it’s to keep the score close, so ratings stay high. Maybe it’s because he legitimately hates your team and you’re the reason why. But we’ve all thought it. What it was true?

259 Words

[ExemplaryChad]

All seismic activity is not caused by the shifting of tectonic plates and the subsequent releasing of pressure at the Earth’s hotspots. See, this is what people think. But it’s wrong. I mean, tectonic plates might be real, sure, but they’re probably pretty stationary. I mean, why would they be moving around?

So then, you may be asking me, what does cause earthquakes and tsunamis? Volcanoes? Geysers? I’m here to tell you what, if you’ll let me.

It’s the Endbringers. Monstrous beings lying in wait for the time to strike. Some call them kaiju. Others, titans. But the name is unimportant. What matters is that they’re there, plotting and scheming. Their only goal is to destroy humanity and carry on the cycle of the perpetual extermination of intelligent and/or dominant life on this planet.

Some are simply huge, inexplicable beasts, thrashing about and demolishing buildings and stamping out life with a single step. Many more seem to have powers of some kind, breathing fire, controlling water, flying, teleporting, or firing lasers. They have thus far been wholly unkillable, and we’re just waiting for the next one to strike.

And yet, despite the danger posed, some refuse to believe in their existence. We have documentary evidence. All we need is to allow it to be exposed.

Haruki Ishigawa

Word count: 216

[Blastmeaway]

Thad Pennington believes that we are all born in first-person mode and only those that recognize the need for a higher being can truly obtain the ability to see themselves in the third-person. Thad, never refers to himself in the first-person because he has been able to realize that he is better in life when he is taking a step back and looking at himself. Thad became an overnight success story in High School after starting Junior year as a third string Free Safety/Backup Wide Receiver and becoming the starting FS by week 4 of the HS Season. Thad was able to look at himself from an outside point of view, which allowed him to see more of the field and how to take that on. Because Thad can view more of the field it means that he is able to play lockdown zone defense and smoother anything that he gets near. Anybody has the ability to do this, its just whether or not you can actually will yourself to do such. Thad has tried to teach Chad and Brad how to do this, but it is not possible because they dont believe in their own power.

Code:

202 words