(S7) - Weekend PT 2 - Friday the 13th

[Beaver]

By far the scariest story I know is the tale of the NSFL mass retirement led, orchestrated, and plotted by noted infamous villain Connor Tanner who gave the whole site much spook when he posted a retirement thread for like 100 players which by NSFL law is legally binding so those players just went POOF disappeared so yeah we all realized that if Connor Tanner that evil evil man had that much power that he could just poof our players away on a whim we definitely can't stand for that so we forced him out of the league temporarily but he was much too powerful to permanently defeat but thanks to an old tome discovered in a dusty tomb long forgotten we think we might have figured out the monster's weakness and currently have a plan in action to vanquish Connor Tanner once and for all and this plan will come to fruition at the end of this season when BORKUS MAXIMUS and TERRELL BRISTER get married and combine their power into a partnership that will be the most powerful force for good the universe has ever seen.

Code:

188 words

[Leafer]

So this one dude was one dumb idiot who believed in bad lucks. So all time in april, he would not go near cats, he would try to not break mirrors and of course, one dumb thing is to not step on cracks which is insane. So one day, he went outside at night to visit a friend of his on friday the 13th for a party and he brought food.

So then it was just windy and then the food just flew away and on the floor. He was about to pick it up and then a dog comes out of nowhere and he eats all of it. Now he has no food. He was walking and then a guy with a gun asked for the wallet with bunch of $100 bills and then he just gave it all away and then he gets punched in the balls. So he gets up and tries to get through this shit. The weather said it was gonna be clear but instead there is thunderstorm and rain in the southeast USA which is rare. And he reaches home wet and full of bad luck. The end.

[Roly]

So Darren Morris grew up down the street from most of his extended family. His grandmother lived around the corner in an old house; a house that his great great grandfather had actually built way back when the town he was born in was founded. Since then it had remained in his family. Lots of relatives had passed away there, most peacefully, some violently. But the back section of the house had been used for the first 100 years as tenant short-term renting. And there were a few deaths that occurred that were not so pleasant. So although Morris is quite used to getting chills and spooks while at his grandmother’s, the staircase in the storage section – the former tenant section – was his worse fear growing up. There was always the sensation of someone running at you from behind to push you down it. He’d have recurring nightmares of that exact scenario; waking right when his head was about to crash into the steps. It turns out two former tenants had fallen to their deaths on the staircase, one pushed from a scorned lover.

184 words

[Dawegg]

The Ad household tends to be very superstitious when it comes to events like Friday the 13th. For example, before any high school games Brad would wear wristbands that had been soaked in milk for a full twenty four hours. It sure stunk, but it was worth it. This was mainly to ward off bad energy and what have you during the length of an entire game. The problem with this day is that trouble always makes itself known at a time like this. The only really scary thing Brad experienced on a Friday the 13th was when Chad got lost at a summer camp when they were volunteer counselors at a local summer camp. Eventually he was found in the woods, but he wouldn't say whatever he had seen. Ads are known for common sense, so they of course got out of there before anything actually terrible happened. Nothing truly awful happens to the Ads when they stick together.


Word Count: 160

[Supersquare04]

DWAYNE AARON LEAVES HOUSE. DWAYNE AARON SEE DOG. DWAYNE AARON TRY TO PET DOG. BUT DOG IS NOT NICE DOG LIKE OTHER GOOD DOGGOS. THIS DOGGO IS MEAN. HE GROWL AT DWAYNE AARON, AND AARON RUN VERY FAST. IN FACT, HE RAN SO FAST THAT HE REACHED YETI STADIUM. THERE HE SAYS "MR JONATHON SAINT, I NEED ASSISTANCE THAT REQUIRES LOTS OF TPE. THEY LEAVE. THEY FIND DOG. SAINT ENGAGES IN HAND TO PAW COMBAT. DOG GAINS UPPERHAND, FOR DOG HAS 2000TPE. SAINT DIES. MATTHEW VINCENT IS VERY UPSET WITH DWAYNE AARON. YOU KILLED SAINT HE SAYS. THIS MAKES DWAYNE AARON VERY SAD. HE DID NOT MEAN TO KILL SAINT. DWAYNE AARON LEAVES. HE FINDS SAME DOG. DOG HAS KNIFE. DOG ALSO HAS APPLEHORT TIED UP. DWAYNE AARON RUNS, HE DOES NOT KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO APPLEBUTT. DWAYNE AARON REPLACE REAL RYAN WITH SOME GUY FROM CRAIGSLIST. HE HOPES MATTHEW VINCENT DOES NOT NOTICE.

THIS IS 154 WORDS

[Neckbishop]

Imagine, if you will, an announcer you can barely understand. He refers to a [mutters], but you're not quite sure what he said. He seems to be eating something, or perhaps he's a little drunk. It's remotely possible that he just said something about the Scary Door.

Here we are watching a perfectly normal football team dinner. "Hey chef! What is in this food? Tastes great!" one of the players exclaims before taking another huge bite. All the players agree while barely stopping their feasting. One by one everyone finishes their plate and they reach across the table to grab more from the platter. The chef is running back and forth from table to table and back to the kitchen bringing more food out for the hungry herd.

Eventually they all slow down and then finally stop, leaning back in their chairs and letting out satisfying burps. They gather themselves and head out of the dining room. After they all leave the chef starts cleaning up from the low-cal calzone feast.

175 words

[Renrut]

So we have this area close to me, about a 20 minute drive away, that is called “Witches Road”. The “road” itself is actually pretty well covered over by now with tree brush and overgrown weeds, etc etc, but from the main road it sits off of, you can see a dilapidated shack about a hundred yards away. The rumors are that this witch used to live there and she killed some kids. Many people claim they’ve heard children laughing and crying in the middle of the night while out there(but there are some houses close by so it could be that). Anyways they also say some people have seen a girl ghost duck in and out of the trees....The first time we went out there it’s marked as private property and the cops do patrol it, we just happened to get lucky that none showed up our night. We got there about midnight and it’s the middle of summer, so it was like 75 degrees still. We started walking in and around all this brush and there were pockets of cold, like extreme cold compared to the normal temp.. I’m talking from 75 to like 40 in seconds. Then it would go back up. The things that I’ve heard and read is that can be attributed to spirites or ghosts in the area. I don’t buy it.

The trees are all mangled up and look like humans with arms wrapped around their heads and bodies. That’s kind of freaky, but whatever. The shack was in rough shape, but we went in anyways. One of my buddies stepped on a board that creaked so loud we thought it was some kind of witch shriek and scared the shit outta me. At one point I was just standing there and couldn’t stop itching my arm. As soon as I left the shack, it stopped. So nothing happened. Boring ass night and I was bummed.

About three months later I was making a delivery for work and was in that area. I decided to swing past and see it all in the daylight. I got out of my car and just stood by the back door looking into the woods, seeing the shack in a ways, all the mangled trees in the daylight..etc etc. I Didn’t move more than 12” from my front door, If that. One of the guys who lives there was outside and waved to me, I waved back. I didn’t go in the woods. I didn’t do anything but wave at this guy. Spent five minutes there. Got back into my car and drove off. I get back to work and walk in and my buddy asked why my arm was all scratched up and I said “huh” and looked down. I was scratched up all up and down my inner arm and I had no logical answer as to how or why. I didn’t scratch it. I didn’t rub up against anything.

Now I’m not saying it was ghosts or a witch or whatever, but fuck if that didn’t remind me instantly of not being to stop scratching my arm in that Same spot months earlier, and now I happen to go back out there and I can’t explain why scratch marks have appeared? I haven’t been back.

End of boring story.

[ADwyer87]

This is 100% the most spooky story ever

You wake up on Friday the thirteenth and go fetch the newspaper. You have to make sure you are ready for work, get your suit and tie on, and begin reading your news briefing for the day, Your wife comes in and begins to make you breakfast. Bacon and eggs, the good stuff.

She asks you "would you like more honey?", you say "no thanks, I'm..." but then you stop suddenly as you look up from your newspaper. Its not your wife, instead it is the face of Saskatoon legend Carson Shmyr. You panic and go to grab your kids, only to discover their faces have also been replaced with the teen legend. You run outside and see your neighbor, Carson Shmyr, watering the lawn and waving hi to you. you jump in your car and speed off as quickly as possible.

You get to work only to find your boss yelling at you, with the face of the Sasky Sensation. You try and run, but all your Noble coworkers come out of their cubicles to surround you, chanting, "Follow me on instagram". You scream, but it is too late, you have already been overwhelmed by All Of Saskatoon.

[bovovovo]

This is 100% the most spooky story ever

You wake up on Friday the thirteenth and go fetch the newspaper. You have to make sure you are ready for work, get your suit and tie on, and begin reading your news briefing for the day, Your wife comes in and begins to make you breakfast. Bacon and eggs, the good stuff.

She asks you "would you like more honey?", you say "no thanks, I'm..." but then you stop suddenly as you look up from your newspaper. Its not your wife, instead it is the face of Saskatoon legend Carson Shmyr. You panic and go to grab your kids, only to discover their faces have also been replaced with the teen legend. You run outside and see your neighbor, Carson Shmyr, watering the lawn and waving hi to you. you jump in your car and speed off as quickly as possible.

You get to work only to find your boss yelling at you, with the face of the Sasky Sensation. You try and run, but all your Noble coworkers come out of their cubicles to surround you, chanting, "Follow me on instagram". You scream, but it is too late, you have already been overwhelmed by All Of Saskatoon.

Amazing

[speculadora]

One of the spookiest stories I have ever heard apparently happened only just last year. It was a warm June night, and a man had recused himself from his living room where his wife and dog laid, and went into a musky room where his desktop computer sat. He opened his beer and headed to Reddit, where he came across a mysterious website, the kind that might be marked "NSFL". He knew the click was risky, but curiosity got the better of him. It was always going to. The link took him to a forum, decorated in navy blue and blood red. The page piqued his interest immediately. The banner and forum logos themselves stained with NSFL imagery. It was disgusting and yet he couldn't look away, he had to register an account. So he did. He typed in "bovo" as his desired username and finished setting up his account. He was so ready to see what the site had to offer he could hardly contain himself. After confirming his registration he went to log in, but got a disturbing message: "Sorry, the password was wrong. All passwords are case sensitive". He couldn't believe it, he had just registered. No matter, he thought, he'd simply create a new account. This time he went with "bovovo", making sure to remember every letter, number, and character in his password. Once again he confirmed his email and once again tried to log in, only to receive the same, horrifying message. One last try, he thought. He had to access what this site had to offer. This time he went with "bovovovo" and at last the website allowed him to access every glorious page and subforum. He was engrossed. So engrossed that some say he is still sitting in that same spot, browsing the same forum, now its most active member.