My locker is a pretty simple place compared to some of the other players. I keep my Microsoft Surface on a shelf so I can review film (I just cashed in $100k for saying that), I also keep a Papa John’s Pizza available just in-case I need a snack ($200k ca-ching), I also keep a case of Gatorade flow cooling in my Kenmore Mini-Fridge ($100k and $50k, I’m raking it in), I also keep my Gillette razor handy so I can stay looking sharp for my press conferences ($75k, it’s too easy).
Now that I have my endorsement requirements out of the way, I also have one other signature item that I keep in my locker. I like to keep the ladies satisfied, so I always wear some very classy animal print man-thong underwear. Well you know I like to keep things fresh so I keep a well-organized rotation going. So I got each pair labeled for the occasion, for example Monday mornings I’m sporting my white tiger pair labeled “MM,” in case I see a cute trainer in the morning I’ve got to give her a sample, you know what I’m talking about. Well the weird thing is, my most popular pair of leopard print, labeled Find Ladies or Cook Kimchi (abbreviated “FLOCK”) which is a tradition I’ve had going since my college days where on Friday nights if I don’t find a suitable lady to take home I stay up late and have Kimchi, disappeared when Stormblessed left the locker room and headed to Vegas. At first I thought it was a coincidence and figured they got lost in the post-championship celebration. Well then recently, I saw Stormblessed on the news sniffing my leopard print thong with “FLOCK” printed on the inside. Now normally I’m more of a “just do you” sort of guy, but what kind of guy steals another man’s underwear and sniffs them on the local news? I get that they’re silky soft, but come on Stormy, you need Jesus man. Next time Flock brings your mother around I’m going to have to have a talk with her.
@Stormblessed @theFlock
Now that I have my endorsement requirements out of the way, I also have one other signature item that I keep in my locker. I like to keep the ladies satisfied, so I always wear some very classy animal print man-thong underwear. Well you know I like to keep things fresh so I keep a well-organized rotation going. So I got each pair labeled for the occasion, for example Monday mornings I’m sporting my white tiger pair labeled “MM,” in case I see a cute trainer in the morning I’ve got to give her a sample, you know what I’m talking about. Well the weird thing is, my most popular pair of leopard print, labeled Find Ladies or Cook Kimchi (abbreviated “FLOCK”) which is a tradition I’ve had going since my college days where on Friday nights if I don’t find a suitable lady to take home I stay up late and have Kimchi, disappeared when Stormblessed left the locker room and headed to Vegas. At first I thought it was a coincidence and figured they got lost in the post-championship celebration. Well then recently, I saw Stormblessed on the news sniffing my leopard print thong with “FLOCK” printed on the inside. Now normally I’m more of a “just do you” sort of guy, but what kind of guy steals another man’s underwear and sniffs them on the local news? I get that they’re silky soft, but come on Stormy, you need Jesus man. Next time Flock brings your mother around I’m going to have to have a talk with her.
@Stormblessed @theFlock
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