(S6) - Weekend PT 3 - Storm Prep

[dropbear]

Some of the most iconic sporting moments -- and the images that accompany them -- have come in adverse weather conditions. In my native Chicago, I would relish the time when the snow was falling, as it allowed me to get outside and practice making plays with a facemask full of white powder (the Calvin Johnson kind, not the Johnny Manziel kind). It's my dream to take part in a game that goes down in history partly because of the weather, and partly because of the way I was able to overcome it to win my team the game. So the only preparation I do before a storm is the same preparation I do before a game, only I make sure to be standing outside and watching the clouds roll in. It's like watching gameday draw closer on the calendar, the way your heart flutters that little bit, some primal part of you telling you that you should run. But I never have, and I never will. From a storm or a game. In fact, I'm ready for whatever life throws at me.

[Angels_Otani]

Bubba isn't used to these storms, it's kinda weird. So, if Bubba ever does encounter one of these, the first thing Bubba will do is barricade his shack and lock up his crocodiles. Them sumbitches can't handle no weather well, so I think locking them up is a reasonable thing to do. Next thing to do once the snow arrives, is to melt the snow with my rocket arm, that shitll melt real quick under the pressure of Bubba's arm, y'know. After that, it'll all be good, cause Bubba's arm will cause serious global warming, so there won't be any more snow to deal with. After that, Bubba will let out his crocodiles to frolic in the melted snow, and they'll do their crocodile thing. Bubba will then eat a pound of grits and a few po'boys (not those fake shrimp ones those are for people Bubba don't like, Bubba means the oyster real ones) and just relaxin. Finally, Bubba will go to sleep, and dream about eating more po'boys. Oh, I forgot to let the crocodiles back into their pen. Bubba will remember tomorrow...

(185 Words)

[SwagSloth]

Storm preparation is interesting for Eric Kennedy because he deals with it on two ends. On one hand, his hometown of New Orleans, LA is infamous for dealing with hurricanes, especially after the damage done by Hurricane Katarina in 2005. On the other, he’s now playing, in rural Canada, where snowstorms pose a dangerous threat in the winter. The area is landlocked and thus safe from Hurricanes, but the biting cold and its associated storms are a type of threat that he never had to deal with back home.

Growing up in Louisiana taught him the value of stocking up on extra supplies, taking precautions to prepare like reinforcing your home, etc. There isn’t a lot you can do to prepare for a snowstorm, but he’s attempted to take every precaution. Katarina taught him not to take chances when it comes to natural disasters. On top of that, Kennedy is active in the New Orleans charity community and is part of a group that helps raise awareness and teach citizens how to properly prepare. He’s considered doing something similar for Yellowknife, but given the current population size, he just opens his home to all 15 citizens whenever a storm approaches. Space is tight, but his living room futon is spacious and he’s managed to fit several air mattresses in his home when he has to do so.

227 Words

[bovovovo]

Yeah so being from the Mediterranean and now living in New Orleans, Borkus Maximus III doesn't see snow very often. So when the temperature drops to anywhere 35 degrees Fahrenheit (doesn't even have to be below freezing, to be honest), Borkus turns into an absolute wimp. He slathers Vaseline all over his arms to keep the warmpth in, he bundles up and wears scarves, and he won't even leave his house.

Game day is different, because Borkus gets so hyped up on adrenaline and pain killers and crack cocaine that the cold doesn't even bother him. But on normal days, he can't stand it. It's been reported that he's even missed practice before because he refused to go outside when it was 31 degrees out. So when a blizzard hits, you can forget about it. Borkus will be MIA for the whole week. Maybe you'll be able to reach him by email, but he'll be bundled up somewhere.

(158 words)

[Beaver]

Man severe weather is such a drag it really sucks because there's like wind and rain or snow and thunder and lightning and it's just really gloomy and shitty overall but sometimes it can be a good thing and this is a story of one of those good storms namely the one that just dumped a bunch of rain on New Orleans which was good because the whole team pooled our resources and camped out in the training facility where we had a fun night of banter and movies and ghost stories and pillow fights and mutual masturbation and puppy cuddles and junk food and staying up past our bed time and playing video games which was a fun time sure but that isn't the part that's really the good part because you see the dastardly Connor Tanner whose sole mission in life is to ruin the National Simulation Football League had plans that very night to exact revenge on the New Orleans Second Line which is the team that replaced the team he tried to ruin and in specific Blackford Oakes because he possesses the one ring that allows its wearer to resist the RINGLEADERINESS of Connor Tanner which he exploited to convince ~TOTALLY ACTIVE CONTRIBUTING MEMBERS OF THE LEAGUE~ to mass retire so to that end he and his goon squad descending on the Oakes residence ready to beat him up and steal the ring but when they arrived all they found was a bunch of empty beer bottles arranged in a large penis on the floor and so thanks to this storm and the team's preparation the NSFL lives to see another day.

Code:

276 words

[Vikain]

The blizzard is here! As a kid from South Florida I honestly have no idea what I’m doing when it gets colder than 60 degrees. But now in Philly there's a Blizzard coming and I have...soup? Luckily the Liberty management and team sponsors were able to quickly put up a drive to help everyone in need. The team was able to give out a bunch of canned foods to a lot of families that were very grateful with many of the stores here being very short stocked. The best part was that many of the fans and families that came out to the drive knew that I was going to be experiencing my first blizzard they gave me tons of tips for what I should have at home, and how to keep myself warm and dumb things that I should never do. Its going to be a bit scary and exciting to survive this chilly winter in Philly.

[White Cornerback]

Man severe weather is such a drag it really sucks because there's like wind and rain or snow and thunder and lightning and it's just really gloomy and shitty overall but sometimes it can be a good thing and this is a story of one of those good storms namely the one that just dumped a bunch of rain on New Orleans which was good because the whole team pooled our resources and camped out in the training facility where we had a fun night of banter and movies and ghost stories and pillow fights and mutual masturbation and puppy cuddles and junk food and staying up past our bed time and playing video games which was a fun time sure but that isn't the part that's really the good part because you see the dastardly Connor Tanner whose sole mission in life is to ruin the National Simulation Football League had plans that very night to exact revenge on the New Orleans Second Line which is the team that replaced the team he tried to ruin and in specific Blackford Oakes because he possesses the one ring that allows its wearer to resist the RINGLEADERINESS of Connor Tanner which he exploited to convince ~TOTALLY ACTIVE CONTRIBUTING MEMBERS OF THE LEAGUE~ to mass retire so to that end he and his goon squad descending on the Oakes residence ready to beat him up and steal the ring but when they arrived all they found was a bunch of empty beer bottles arranged in a large penis on the floor and so thanks to this storm and the team's preparation the NSFL lives to see another day.

Code:

276 words

damn you connor tanner!

[speculadora]

Even as a multi-millionaire athlete, I prepare for a big storm just like the rest of the common folk. Once I get that alert from my state of the art home weather system I leap into action. I have my team of meteorologists get together and come up with a prediction for the length and severity of the storm. That costs some time but it's well worth it. Once I have their answer, I pass the information along to my personal assistant who heads off to find my personal shopper. With the storm projection in hand, my personal shopper and financial manager devise the most cost-effective strategy to get me ready for the storm. They also do a brief meeting with my personal chef to ensure that he can actually make edible food with the ingredients they buy and making sure he has a meal plan laid out for the duration of the storm. Then my shopper will head off to a grocery store and pick up all of the essentials. You know, things like fresh caught salmon, organic free-range chicken, fresh fruits and vegetables - the list goes on. Occasionally, depending on the severity of the storm, he'll go get a backup generator or backup-backup generator, but usually that kind of thing is not necessary. Sometimes there is even more that goes into the process but I won't bore you with the details

[timeconsumer]

A storm? Angus Winchester doesn't prepare for storms. Angus Winchester prepares for the end of the world. The Winchester ranch in Mendocino California, where Angus lives in the offseason with his wife and 8 kids is stocked for his family's survival in the darkest of times. For starters the ranch is a fully self-sufficient farm complete with sheep, goats, pigs, horses, donkeys, chickens, ducks, cattle, and his pack of dogs. Then you have the crops of which there is also a stunning variety of barley, wheat, corn, tomatoes, potatoes, beets, radishes, turnips, cucumbers, carrots, raspberries, blackberries, apples, and he even grows hops to be able to produce his own beer on site. There is an artesian well that services the water needs of the entire operation without the need for a pump. There is an entire bank of batteries that can deliver power to the critical areas of the farm and are kept charged by windmills and solar panels. There are two generators powered by V6 motors, one that can run on diesel, the other on propane. And of course there are 10,000 gallons worth of storage tanks buried to supply the diesel and the propane. There is equipment for generating biodiesel from his corn crop. There is equipment to generate methane gas from his animal manure to use for cooking. He has approximately 10,000 pounds of dry goods. And finally, there is the security. Angus Winchester has stocked up well over 100,000 rounds of ammunition to supply his vast cache of rifles, shotguns, and pistols. Bring on your storm.

[ExemplaryChad]

Generally, when there’s a storm coming, I don’t like to hunker down at home too much. Instead, I try and get out in the community and do something where I can help. During times like these, homeless shelters almost universally get overcrowded as everyone needs a safe place inside. They’re also often short-staffed, as volunteers can’t make it into the shelters due to the conditions. Since I have access to safer vehicles and added resources, I like to try and make sure that people are being taken care of. I try to head to the shelters and cook or clean or just keep people company. It’s such a rewarding experience as people come together and comfort each other, especially those who have kids in the shelters. Whether they’re scared of the weather or of the dark or not scared at all, it’s nice to see them smiling even when the only light we have is flashlights. Storms are a good opportunity to help out when I can, and I’m lucky enough to have the means to do it most of the time.

Haruki Ishigawa

Word count: 182