(S3) - Weekend PT #2 - What's in a name?

[Yurt6]

Iyah Blewitt is a name that fans and players of the NSFL will be getting used to if his career pans out the way many expect it to. Apparently, the family of Blewitt always had their hopes that he would become a legendary kicker, and named him accordingly. His brother, Ima Kickit (the family uses different last names for full effect), was destined to be a soccer star until a foot injury hampered his career. Word off the street is that he is now the handler of both the box and moon jellyfish at the local aquarium. One thing is for certain, if things go his way, Blewitt won’t be living up to his namesake. When asked how he felt about his name, he said he’s gotten used to it over the years, and that he was thinking of naming his son Iyah Blewitt the second. That doesn’t mean growing up for Blewitt wasn’t tough though. He recalls his middle school years as the worst, because a last name like Blewitt and middle schoolers do not make up for a good combination. You can imagine the kind of torment he got. But he soon found out that merely by kicking them, they would stop, his legs were so powerful he once broke someone’s leg. That’s when the football coach took notice, and the rest as they say was history.

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229 words

[timeconsumer]

[kckolbe]

Far and away, my favorite player name is Reg Mackworthy. The last name alone is just a delight. It’s the only name I’ve seen that I want to make into an adjective.
Mackworthy (adj) – being of adequate desirability to put forth the required efforts in order to successfully consummate a process of seduction.
Example: “Hey, that girl from last night. Was she hot?” “Eh, she’s mackworthy.”
My favorite part of that is that, by that definition, Mackworthy is the one getting it, not the pimp taking it to her. I’m fairly confident that wasn’t intended. I don’t think @Esa77 sat down and thought “I wanna give my character a name that suggests he’s an adequately attractive ho bag.” I mean, points to him if he did, but I’m pretty sure he wanted the name to suggest “suave motherfucker” as opposed to “yo momma that got fucked.”

For me, though, it only gets better with the first name of Reg. I assume it is short for Reginald. Reginald is a glorious name by itself, but the combination of such a proper name as Reginald (which I can’t say without imagining a “sir” proceeding it) and “pimp” or “ho” delights the shit outta me every time. Fantastic name.

[Shadowz]

I don't know what it is, but I'm always so heckin bamboozled by this name. He's never tried to do me a fren, but the doggo I'm doing the run now after is Bork Bjornsson *bork*. He shows great appreciate for me n other doggos, be they puppers, doggerinos, puggerinos, common shoobs, snip snap doggos, cuddle doggos, and so on. It is the great dream for me bork n play in the NSFL, Mr. Bork is like my roll-over model. Bork is good when he hit the ball and run the score for so many eight touchdowns. He sign all the auto groofs with the little pupperinos, heckin cute!

In all seriousness though, Bork does a great service to the league, in reminding us of what's most important, aka borking. Many doggos don't get a chance to shine in the NSFL, but somehow Bork Bjornsson has been able to defy all the odds and become one of the league's premier players. Often people who have forgotten the ways of the bork are in a dark place, and Bjornsson does his best borking to cheer them up and remind them of the powers of the meme. While he likes floofballs the best, any pupperino/pupper is one which he'd like to inspire to also join the NSFL. Who knows, maybe because of Mr. Bjornsson, Pupperino Floof will be the next superstar.

[AsylumParty]

Archetype Schmarchetype doesn't give a damn what you think. That's no typo, the name is Schmarchetype, Archetype Schmarchetype. The bringer of pain, pancakes, and pleasantry.

What actually is his archetype, you might ask? I have no idea whatsoever, but it sounds like it doesn't matter at all, and like he couldn't possibly care less about it. Or, maybe that's his parents opinion. Perhaps Mr. Schmarchetype loves archetypes and he's doomed to a life of implied mockery.

Either way, Archetype Schmarchetype is currently a solid rookie anchor on the Outlaws offensive line and he's holding it down well, despite rarely appearing in the team discord. Discord Schmiscord.

I think that we all have something very important to learn from Schmarchetype. Some undesirable people believe it matters what you look like, others think it matters where you come from, or what your name is, but anyone at all, and I mean absolutely anyone, can and will agree that ARCHETYPES DON'T MEAN A DAMN THING. Archetype Schmarchetype is the arbiter of truth and pancakes coming straight outta IHOP and you'd better not bring that viability talk around him.

I'm sixteen words short so I want to reiterate that my man Archetype, who I've literally never spoken to, probably holds all of these opinions and he's gonna kill it.

[Blaster]

Blaster Blade... Are you kidding me? How can this name not ring? The 6'5, 310 pound defensive end, recently traded to the Las Vegas Legion, is coming off a disappointing rookie season BUT, has shown signs of destroying before. The Yeti decided to trade him after using the #2 overall pick on him in the season 2 draft. You cannot blame them, they expected more, and he gave them less. But, His name is Blaster. He will literally blast the entire offensive line and I think he will make a come back in the next season. Someone recently asked him does he know why his parents named him Blaster Blade? He just told us it's because they knew how crazy he was going to be in the game of football. Just pronouncing his name is exhilarating! Imagine an announcer announcing his name to introduce him to the crowd "And your defensive end, Number 92, BLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASTTTTTTTTTTTTTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR BLADEEEEEE!" and the crowd goes crazy. He will slice offensive lines up (obviously referring to the last name Blade) and again he will be blasting away the offensive line and getting to that quarter back and / or running back. Let's just say whoever is in this man's way with the ball, is going to have it coming.

[bovovovo]

I am going to have to go with Angus Winchester.

What I really appreciate about this name is its subtlety. It doesn’t rely on cheap alliteration, desperate and obvious attempts at uniqueness, or any other cheap trick that makes the name seem like it’s trying to hard. It’s just simple, but it conveys a certain idea so well.

The first name, Angus, is taken from an angus beef burger or angus steak, quintessential to the image of a manly burly man, for what manly man doesn’t enjoy himself some classic beef burgers or steak? The last name, Winchester, is from the Winchester rifle and the Winchester firearms company. What is more stereotypically manlier than guns? Not much. And when you put the two together you have the perfect blend of manliness: Meat and guns.

It’s easily memoizable, its realistic, and whenever somebody says “Angus” everybody instantly knows who they are talking about. What I appreciate most is how clearly it states what it wants to state: that this is a burley manly man’s man, and is does this without resorting to cheap tricks or try hand attempts at uniqueness. It just is. It’s simple and effective. Also perfectly suits an offensive lineman.

(202 words)

[Kristy95]

I really love the name Iyah Blewitt. First of all, I never even heard the name Iyah before. But I really think the name is genius. It makes me laugh every time I see it in the sim. Because when it says I. Blewitt, and I say it in my head it sounds like "I blew it". I am sure that it was obviously intended that way, but I love that kind of self deprecating humor, especially from a kicker.

It will be interesting to see how I. Blewitt handles success or failure in a big moment. Will he lament that he "blew" it if he makes a mistake? Oh it is just so funny to me.

I am also curious to see if we will ever see his brother Ulysses Blewitt (U. Blewitt) in the NSFL. He might be able to trash talk even better, but he might not find a team since he is always blaming other teammates for misfortune and failure. A real selfish prick, that Ulysses Blewitt.

We will see if Iyah Blewitt ever finds the confidence to change his name, when he is done making mistakes or taking the blame for it. Let's hope he does!

[automatic]

TIME'S UP LET'S DO THIS!!!!!! LEEEEEERRRRRRROOOOOOOYYYYYYYYYY JEEEENNNNNNNNKKKKKKIIIIIIINNNNSSSSSSSSS! (that should count for at least 20 words).

For those of you that weren't playing World of Warcraft in 2005, you won't get this. But those of us that were will never forget the internet sensation that was Leroy Jenkins. Leroy Jenkins was a fake video clip made by some players during a run through the Blackrock Spire dungeon. A group of them are standing around, discussing their strategy on Teamspeak. Meanwhile their Hard-hittin, sword-swingin, chicken-eatin Paladin is not present, he's in the kitchen getting a snack.

As the discussion draws to an end suddenly Leroy pops up and screams his characteristic battle shout (see above) and charges into the room before everybody else is ready. They quickly run in after him in an attempt to save him, but they all die. And then they get mad at Leroy, who simply responds with "At least I have chicken."

What makes this so significant is that on the surface it appears Leroy screwed up the entire plan. But if you listen to their discussion and strategy beforehand it is obvious they have no idea what they are doing, and they are 100% going to die no matter what. Leroy on the other hand, not having time for their crappy strategy and nonsense wastes no time in getting a snack and then quickly ending the encounter that he likely knows is doomed to fail at the hands of these casuals.

And that's why I love Leroy Jenkins. Because sometimes your running back says "screw your stupid triple reverse end-around option flea flicker, I'm going to pound the rock."

@Jiggly_333

[Bwestfield]

What name do I particularly enjoy throughout the league? There are many. Hell I even love my own, I picked it after all and it has a rich history with me in games. It also is extremely bland and stupid. But I decided to choose someone else for this task. I chose none other than the famous Carmel Gibson. There are a few reasons behind this and none of them have anything to do with the controversy that surrounds the name. First there is Carmel. I am quite fond of carmel the treat as I am an old man. I prefer caramel (not the same thing in my eyes) because it is smoother. Carmel sounds hard while the alternative caramel sounds smooth and creamy. Gibson on the other hand is the name of a supercomputer from the movie Hackers. A great movie starring Angelina Jolie. So together they would form a great and sweet flavored supercomputer. So I say let’s hack the Gibson and change his name to Caramel Gibson. After all, you would only be adding an ‘a’ to the already inactive player. Perhaps it’s just what the league needs after a few scandals. Let’s hunt down sexualearwax and get this done.